(This piece is more than inspired by this funny piece in McSweeneys called “I Am Using My Free Time To Not Write My Novel” by Scott Bolohan)
They say the best way to not deepen your yoga practice is to not practice everyday. Everyday when you wake up is the best time to not practice– simply hop on Instagram instead. But as we join the multitudes in this never-ending quarantine, I have begun to worry that my newfound lack of ability to go anywhere or do anything is going to seriously get in the way of me not deepening my practice.
Ever since I discovered Netflix, coconut milk ice cream and Instastories I have felt destined to not deepen my practice. Of course I had this burning desire to master handstands and for self-realization, but I did the work — and I held it all in. When I needed to, I left my mat for other pursuits.
But now? Sheltered in place it’s getting harder than ever to find the distractions to not deepen my practice. I’m the closest I’ve ever been to giving up, throwing my mat down and busting out a triangle pose. Sometimes I open the window and start to breathe actual air and then all of a sudden I’m saluting the sun in the kitchen before I stop myself — to think I almost failed and practiced. And truthfully, that is a practice and it counts– that one sun salute! — so just thank god I have Instagram to stop me and keep me on track. (Social media seems like it was invented to suck all your time away and prevent you from practicing let alone deepening your practice, which is awesome, btw).
But beware! Sometimes I think I am back on track for not deepening my practice because I’m faithfully scrolling through Instagram, but then my yoga friends will post stuff that makes me– despite my commitment– want to practice.
No one said not deepening your practice during a pandemic was going to be easy.
On the toughest days I cannot let go of this desire to feel alive, to feel my soul wake up. But no matter how tough the obstacle, I power through not deepening my practice. At my worst, I will allow a few seated breaths, some sun salutes or maybe the most basic essential postures or god if it’s really bad– a half primary–and hope for dear life that this weakness doesn’t get in the way of me not deepening my practice. I force myself to say hey, all you did was ten minutes so it doesn’t count, or it was just half your postures so it doesn’t count, or you went too fast or too slow or too distracted so it doesn’t count, so I can feel like I haven’t sabotaged my goal of not deepening my practice.
Tell yourself it’s ok.
Not deepening your practice in a trying time is hard. I mean, just getting up and breathing and being aware of your breath can count as deepening your practice, not to mention five minutes, so give yourself a break. Deepening your practice has the sneaky way of happening– whether you’re on your mat investing in sweat and hours, or simply trying to maintain “equanimity of mind” (Zoe Ward @unrulyscetic) while your seven-year old has a meltdown and you’re on a deadline.
It’s daunting how many ways there are to easily deepen your practice, so be careful. If it were easy to not deepen your practice, everyone would not do it. I mean gosh, the way this time will change your relationship to practice, the way you’ll look back on it–no matter how you slice it, whether this time means you’re progressing through advanced series, learning to practice at home alone, or barely holding yourself together while your little ones push all the damn buttons:
If all else fails, go back to bed– Try to wake up and not practice tomorrow.
Good luck.