#doitforthegram #hashtagasana #asanaforagony #practicelikeeverybodyswatching #posingovercliffs #keepitdeathlyreal #RUMIalsosaidwhenwasieverlessbydying
DeathWish® Yoga is the brain-dead child of Dylan Shiva Reaper, who looked around at all the contortionist poses, beach scenes, instagram challenge-inspired strokes and hip replacements and thought—
It’s not enough.
Shiva, so self-named as an homage to the God of destruction and his own inflated ego, wanted a class to serve the multitudes of people doing dumbass, dangerous yoga poses in dangerous settings just to get the perfect instagram shot—
only he wanted to go dumber and dangerouser with even more insta-likes-er.
Instead of maintaining a safe space, DeathWish® Yoga encourages you to court your own severe bodily injury and even death, which the #doitforthegrammers call:
“Perish-Asana”
You want to handstand at the rim of the Grand Canyon? Bend over backwards over the railing of a balcony four stories up? Press up handstand at the edge of the empire state building roof? This is the class for you. As Shiva says, “we’re all about going out with a bang, a great hashtag and fuckload of insta likes. Perishasana is highly underrated (along with fuckyourkneessasana, and stroke-asana).”
Shiva conceived “DeathWish Yoga” after feeling out of place trying to maim himself in typical yoga classes. “They were all about healing, taking care of yourself, blah blah— even the hot and so-called power classes.” It was just so…safe…and BS. Even corpse pose was a sham: we just lay there. WTF! I was looking for a class that would really help stretch my limits— you know, break the law, a few bones, even the skull–and get boatloads of new followers. Life is short, ya know?”
Shiva thanks his parents for inspiration. “They used to always say “Dylan, If all your friends ran and jumped off a bridge would you?’
And You know what?”
“Yes. I totally fucking would.”
“But I’d put it on Insta. Twitter. Tik-Tok. I’d set up my phone first. Pick a super cool bridge, like the Golden Gate, or the roof of the Taj Mahal or something, then we’d jump from a yoga pose, one that could cause a stroke or at least a strained muscle. And of course, we’d hashtag the shit out of it, post it on insta and everywhere and watch the emojis roll in.”
Alas, Dylan felt very lonely: “Where was the class for people like me?”
Enter Rage yoga— an aha moment. What if, he thought, instead of (or in addition to) cursing/ screaming yoga, we did yoga under the threat of death? Like the Hunger Games, but with yoga poses. Like base jumping, but with baddha konasana. And thus, DEATHWISH® yoga was born…so you could like, dance with deathly asana. Classes start out with dangerous poses that could cause injury just for an insta shot, and progress up to the highest local building roof.
You might wonder if Shiva is missing parts of his cerebral cortex (indeed, he does have an abnormality, though it’s unclear whether this is due to genetics or several falls on the head/ strokes suffered during instagram challenges). He explains:
“Before I found my practice, I was like, so stressed out. I had all these thoughts all the time! Now, I handstand on crumbling cliffs and all I can think about is how trendy I’ll be on twitter. Even the fact that I might actually die— or that I might already be partially brain dead— totally clears my mind, bro.
As for critics of DEATHWISH®, Shiva doesn’t give a shit. “Honestly? They’re full of it. They preach breathing and wellness kumbaya, meanwhile what do students get? Assists from untrained teachers, adjustments without consent, rape and sexual harrassment from venerated gurus, hip replacement surgery without social media glory, headstand-induced strokes. Here at DeathWish® yoga, we just remove the fake-ass shit and we add the likes on Insta shit. Here:
We are ALL about doing it for the gram.
We are about finding the limits of agony.
WE practice like everybody is watching, where it’s all about the poses– duh, poses over cliff edges. We just don’t bullshit about it. We don’t pretend.
We wanna fucking cheat death and score likes on insta. #DEATHWISH
For a DEATHWISH class near you, go to DEATHWISHYOGA.com or to the nearest tall building roof. Be sure to bring your signed, notarized and witnessed by three non-partial witnesses waiver. Also, sign up for the DEATHWISH Bakasana & Base Jumping Yoga Retreat on Insta or the waitlist! (Spots go fast, but new ones always open up!)
#doitforthegram #asanaforagony #practicelikeeverybodyswatching #posingovercliffs #keepitdeathlyreal #perishasana #bakasana&basejumping #donttrythisathomeitsnotcoolenoughyouneedatallbuilding
#practiceanddeathmaimingseverebodilyinjuryiscoming