- The Exorcist girl bent over backwards.
via GIPHY (this is for me, inspired by @unrulyascetic on Instagram). white nightgown plus backbend. Done.
2. Guru known for being a sexual predator (or just, you know, Guru–see Bikram, Pattabhi Jois, and so on). Wear a loincloth. Recite “practice and all is coming” and use your imagination.
3. New Yoga Teacher Training graduate who wants to adjust you (He’s new to yoga, has no other training, and just wants to see what happens if we wrench your knee this way, ok, and no, he does not plan to ask for your consent!)
4. Bikram Choudhury (see #2, but this one calls for a speedo–super scary!!)
5. Yoga teacher explaining science (think yoga clothes plus poster with facts like “Triangle pose cures pneumonia”)
6. See-through Lululemon yoga pants girl in forward fold (grab those vintage pants and voila!)
7. Yoga Teacher playing Doctor/Therapist/Nutritionist (yoga pants + stethoscope from kid’s toy box)
8. Instagram Yogi Doing Handstand On a 10th Floor Balcony Railing Or At Cliff’s Edge (just carry a phone and a fake mountain or model of a high rise building you can handstand next to)
https://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/18-dangerous-instagram-yoga-photos
9. Constipation (For An Ashtangi Who Has To Practice At 6AM). The sign “constipation” should be scary enough.