Those Yoga Trends: Yoga with Goats, Green Eggs & Ham

Those yoga trends. Those Yoga trends
Do you like your yoga with furry friends?

IMG_6984No, I do not want it with a goat
I do not want it on a moat.
Not even floating on a paddle board? nope–
and certainly not in your Ford.

I do not want it with goats
I do not want it with kittens and
WTF not in the snow with mittens (I’ll take my skis for that ya know)

No, I do not want my yoga with smelly goats
I do not want it with beer
I do not want it with wine
not even 190-proof Everclear

I don’t even want yoga with my kid near.

And it isn’t just because I love ashtanga
that I don’t care to take it with the Ganga.

and yes, by that I do mean marijuana.

Go on and legalize it, But remember–
It takes practice, not cannabis, to open these hips)

No surprise I don’t want it with rage or laughter,
I’ll take a grin, sure, but I don’t even want it with a partner.

I don’t want it in a box
I don’t want it with toe sox.
speaking of which, you think yoga in the nude will blow my mind?
Ah, no way dude, I don’t want to see yours and you certainly ain’t getting to see mine.

I don’t like yoga with goats.
I don’t like it with naps
and I really don’t care for it with an axe (ok not yoga but that’s truly an actual exercise class),
nor with a $500 talking SmartMat.

No! I do not want it with a goat
I do not want it with a horse.
I do not want it with kittens
I do not want it with chickens.
Forget it I don’t even want it with my dog
No, let the dog sniff someone else’s butt–  I don’t care to practice with my shedding, bad breathin’ mutt.

So no, I do not want it with a goat.
I do not want it with a mouse.
But I will do it alone in my house

or with people in a Shala

I’ll take a teacher, but spare me the impala.

Confession: Sometimes I like it with music
but karaoke and silent disco?

For real? Hell no.

I do so like yoga on my mat
So thanks but I’ll just take that!

This entry was posted in Blog.

3 thoughts on “Those Yoga Trends: Yoga with Goats, Green Eggs & Ham

  1. Ha ha love it. I occasionally practice with music, but needs to be something I can’t end up singing along with. Though when Hamish was reciting “Heyam dukham anagatam” in Conference last Sunday I thought that might make a good repetitive rap beat !

    • Thanks Kevin!!!! I hear wonderful things about Hamish. How lucky you are!

  2. I love this! Just me and my mat. That’s how I like it too. Thank you Jean Marie for the important topic approached with light-hearted humor and creativity.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *