yesterday I tried explaining to a friend how the mysore room is…different from other yoga practice rooms. But I didn’t speak of the sequence, the so-called “rules,” or self-practice.

I talked about the special relationship that forms between student and teacher (and by extension, between students) in that room. It’s a little different than anything I’ve experienced before.

before going any further, I feel compelled to add that I can’t say this special relationship exists only in the mysore domain. I had a very close relationship with a vinyasa teacher I chose as my mentor back in New York, and to this day, we still talk about the art of teaching.

what i am talking about is a relationship that forms almost automatically by stepping into that realm of practice with that teacher in a mysore room. My physical body is not independent of the rest of me. Because of the work done in the mysore room, my teachers and fellow mysore practitioners have been aware of the most private and precious events of my life.

what’s even more amazing, is that this remains true even though I moved away from the Dc/Northern Virginia mysore programs last Spring, and the teacher who guides my practice lives in Philly. I practice alone at home most days, with periodic visits. You might think that it’s like dropping into any other class. it’s not.

Last summer I became pregnant. Because of my periodic visits, the DC area mysore teachers were the first to know. They knew before I came, because even before I came to the studio, I told them over email because I had questions. I also told other pregnant ashtangis who I had met in Philly, because I wanted to hear their experience. Because of the nature of the mysore room and the community, I told my fellow practitioners of my pregnancy on my visits. They knew, before any friends in my immediate area knew.

But more than that, My teacher in Philly knew not just of my pregnancy, but my struggle and ultimate decision to pursue an out of hospital vaginal birth after caesarean. I told him about how his teaching had connected me to a dialogue with my own fear– not just where pincha mayurasana was concerned, but also my deep fear about how the hell I would get this second baby out, and concomitantly, my fear of death. I don’t think I have told many people about the turmoil I faced with this second pregnancy. I did tell him.

when I miscarried (I actually miscarried at 5.5 weeks; I just did not know about it until almost 11 weeks) I decided to write an email informing my friends, because I did not want to have to tell the story in person over and over again. Most of the recipients were fellow practitioners in the mysore room, the mysore community that studies with the same teacher in Philly, and the local DC/Va area mysore teachers. Of course.

What surprised even me, was when about a week after that email, I received personal phone calls from my dear first DC area mysore teacher, followed by another DC area mysore teacher and my Northern VA mysore teacher. I felt incredibly touched.

As I head to Philly tomorrow to see my teacher, I have within me a series of emails between us as I have informed him of my efforts to get back into my practice after my D&C surgery, my efforts to bring my practice more in line with the system as it was intended (that is, 6 days a week); I’ve also informed him of my doubts about the system.

He gave me one piece of advice that has stuck with me: “be kind to yourself.”

I may practice alone, most of the time, but I am never alone. These teachers in the DC area hold me in their space as if I never left. I only see them periodically (though I am clearing my schedule to make this a weekly thing) but to them, to me, I am part of their community. They know I have a teacher directing my practice and they assist me with my efforts.

When I am with this group of people, I feel like I am with my family. I feel like if anything wonderful or terrible happens, they will be there. And though I’ve never been to Mysore, I feel a certain connection to those who are there. I once read that in colonial America, when people were away from their loved ones, they would read a book at the same time..it was a way of communicating and staying together even when apart. I feel like I do this with my own practice.

I am grateful for these wonderful people and teachers who have embraced me and my journey. My teacher told me to be kind to myself; I am fortunate to have so many examples of kindness around me. The msyore world is different. Mysore…My family.