The Myth of Being “Stuck” On a Posture

Maybe that’s a bit much, but in truth I am beginning to think it’s impossible to be stuck on a posture, at least physically.

Before those of you grimacing in marichyasana D or flailing in primary series purgatory shoot internet daggers into my eyes, I am “stuck” (for lack of a better word) like you. I’ve been working on my current final posture since at least early fall, long enough that I cannot recall precisely when it was given to me. The postural pain in my neck is Urdhva kukkutasana, the first arm balance of third series (think crow pose with lotus legs, but you get into it from a tripod headstand– and that’s not negotiable). I can’t lift my head and self up without assistance. This rooster pose is a roadblock; I have all I need leading up to that point of “failure to launch” and the ability to hold after that moment (if helped) but that one piece of the puzzle hits me like the wall of traffic as you meet the solid red line on your Googled route.

If only Alexa could fix this.

I can’t bad lady skip hop over this posture because guess what comes next: Another arm balance that requires the very same maneuver, i.e., That move I can’t do.

And then? Another.

And then? Another.

and then? Yes…..

 

there will be no “and then” because dude, we know where my car is–

stuck with no alternative route at this rooster roadblock. I lack the secret code, the golden ticket, the perfect spell, the Ready Player One 80s trivia key to unlock my way to the next level.

When I inevitably perish here, upside down twisted up like a pretzel, please know that you may place flowers on my inverted ass.

But don’t you call me stuck.

I won’t be stuck because I have done nothing but make progress and change. I have tightened my lotus I have evolved into my knees getting ever closer to my armpits I have started to feel that spot where there is push in my hands and lightness at the top of my head. I have held the posture after being assisted into it. So Imagine that dead still traffic– is it not, truly, moving albeit at a crawl? The car, and you inside it breathing? Perhaps you are composing a poem in your head, a painting, singing a song.

Stillness is a lie.

or, as Tara Brach said:

“If you’re stuck you’re believing a story that’s not true”

Where I am now may be millimeters and yet Lightyears from where I began when I first got this posture back in the land before time.

Is it fireworks? Is it a red carpet fancy dress and KAPOW BAM! BOOM! Final show in my practice? F&ck no. Nothing happens overnight.

It just looks that way on Instagram.

There is no shiny success that doesn’t have its gnarled dirt-covered roots in days, weeks and years of “failure” (or as Astro Teller calls it, “learning.”).

I am learning (Off the mat more slowly than on it).

Working third series is proving enormously helpful in my life. Each day I have more ideas that I can possible write, and each day I fight Radio K-F*cked that tells me it ain’t worth it to try putting any of them down. My yoga practice tugs on the sleeve of my brain to interject with the abject honesty of a child:

But what about this yoga you do?  That time on that posture. You practice.

And I remember what I teach myself on that mat every day:

that nothing happens instantaneously,

that everything can happen with practice,

that I will never know if I don’t start.

that “no practice is ever wasted.” ~ (David Robson)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This entry was posted in Blog.

2 thoughts on “The Myth of Being “Stuck” On a Posture

  1. I feel everything you say here, I am stuck at Urdhva kukkutasana C. Every morning I work on it and secretly hoping today I will discover the secret. Hang in there.

    • Hi Haiping– right back at you! I totally know this, every day, hoping it will unlock. I take some faith from seeing that there has been very micro progress along the way. I’ll look to you for help with C when I get there! has it changed since you commented here? and thanks for writing

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