“Are you still on to help?
Because in 30 more minutes….I need dandasana/paschimattanasana beginning with Sapta and ending with down dog.”
I’m stare at my phone in one hand and my glass of red wine in the other.
“It’s Peg. And the recorded class. I need the above…like as soon as you could.”
My heart begins to beat. I slide what’s left of my glass of wine over to my husband, silently thanking heaven that it isn’t a margarita. It is Friday, after all. Three dots dance then:
“you’d be following David Robson”
I hear the thud as my stomach free falls into my root chakra and the sensation of a thousand caterpillars bursting simultaneously into butterflies fluttering within my intestines. I frantically text every ashtanga teacher friend I know trying to (a) pass this off to someone more qualified than me, like an authorized person or someone running a freakin Mysore program who hasn’t written a number of questionable blogs talking about how much she occasionally hated led class in Mysore and (b) asking exactly how they would record this because I have have reverted to complete “freak-out-i’m-not-worthy-i-can’t-what-am-I-doing-here-is-this-a-joke-am-i-getting-hazed-i-can’t”-status.
Perhaps I should back up a smidge– and uh, breathe.
I saw Ashtanga Dispatch was doing some great work– namely, recording a led primary with big name ashtanga teachers to raise money for Together Rising’s efforts to help the crisis at the border.
Naturally, I offered to help.
By “help,” however, I meant I could “press play” on said donation class, or write down the names of these “capital T” teachers in my fancy messy script (like, Kino Macgregor and Saraswati and Laruga) in an Instastory while hearts and stuff shoot out of my eyes and mouth using a cool filter — you know, things I am just ever so qualified to do with my thumbs and social media accounts. I never thought I’d be recorded.
So I’m a little worried about, well–
1. Everything. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
2.”you’d be following David Robson.” Right. You may as well ask me to do stand up after Chris Rock, sing after Beyoncé or give an inspirational speech just after Oprah. Sure.
I’ve paid money for Davd Robson’s teaching videos because they’re really good and he is Captain Floaty-Pants. I’ve paid dollars for his workshops because that’s what you do when Robson floats into your town. He can lead primary with the even rhythm of a metronomic drum beat and he also leads one of the largest Mysore programs and darn it he is charming as hell. I’m to follow this ashtangarific superhuman, vegan-Ashtanga-correct-vinyasa-count-master-handstand-jump-back-god?
Me? Home-practicing-mysore-and-margaritas-can-I-do-these-5-breaths-like-super-fast-vinyasa-count-bitch-slapped-falling-out-of-handstand-sinkhole-heavy-jump-backs-no-one’s-ever-heard-of-mortal?
What’s next, Eddie Stern is following me?
Those dots again:
“eddie stern just joined the crew, btw.”
No pressure.
3- Imposter Posture. I fantasize about everyone saying, “OMG what is SHE doing here?” or “Saraswati, Kino and Who the F is That? (if you’re thinking that now, I’m right there with you.) I’m not famous. Not authorized. Not certified. Though I might just be Ashtanga-fried. I teach led primaries here and there but certainly don’t lead a mysore program. I’m certainly not like these guys, my teachers, my heroes and holy moly is that….David Garrigues on this list?
OH GOD I DON’T BELONG HERE. I’M NOBODY and —
Oh. Well that’s just it.
This isn’t about me. It’s about all of us. These children, they belong to this world, they belong to their mothers and they belong to us.
They are not nobody: they are everybody.
They are us.
This isn’t about me: it’s about them.
It’s about us.
Photo by Dustin Ellison Design & Photography www.dustinellison.com
It is each person’s breath that combined makes that magic oceanic mysore room music. You, beginner, fumbling through primary, getting stuck in garbha pindasana and you over there, legs behind head– both. Together we rise. I will follow David Robson and maybe the likes of Eddie Stern will follow me: they will get me through this in the same way they already have– as teachers and inspirations. We will make this happen by being all of that and then some for each other, together, because that’s kind of the point. We — from beginner to experienced to tall to short to old to young to strong to weak to authorized to de-listed to slow to fast to “loves led primary even though on occasion it has brought her to her knees” — yes, we all have a role to fill in the world–
In the mysore room or on the political stage.
Or both.
I summon all my love and joy for this practice I “aspire”* to do and infuse my voice with it. This practice has taught me nothing, if not to drop my own BS and just be real.
I hit record, hoping you can hear me smile as I do my bit to ride the wave where David Robson left off. On his last cued breath, I feel mine
RISE.
*****************
Thanks for reading, now please:
Donate here https://app.mobilecause.com/vf/Ashtanga
or simply text “Ashtanga” to 71777 to donate and receive your free download.
For more, see below!
A Led Primary Series Yoga Class: Donate & Download
In a world where we are constantly bombarded with bad news, it’s easy to feel helpless and alone. I know. I was feeling that way just last week … But, you see, we’re not helpless OR alone.
We have each other. And together – we are powerful.
In fact, this exclusive Led Primary Series below is a beautiful example of our collective yoga community powerfully together – uniting our voices and practice – to create the good that we crave. And it’s really as easy as ekam, dve, trini!
- Click the donate button below and send your loving donation to Together Rising– $25, $50, $100, or however much you can afford today.
- Follow the instructions to access your free class in the email that follows. It’s easier to download to your computer directly to iTunes. (It’s harder to download directly to a phone first, but you can always transfer it over after.)
- Practice. Practice. Practice.
That’s it. That’s all you need to do to make a meaningful difference in the life of a frightened child who has been separated from their family – and truly feeling alone and helpless. Lets show them, they are NOT alone. While their voice may not be heard, ours can. Especially when joined together.
Thank you for caring and for your generosity. And thank you to the teachers below, for being our guiding, shining light.
P.S. You can also help by sharing this page to Facebook and Instagram. Or just ask them to text ASHTANGA to 71777 and directly donate. You can even hold your own local fundraisers using our Together Rising yoga donation portal, here. Thank you again!